James May leaned in, adjusting his spectacles. “It’s a secondary dial, clearly aftermarket. The font is… aggressive. What does ‘C.O.C.K.’ stand for? Center of Control Kinetics?”
Richard picked a bright-orange Porsche 911 GT3 RS. “It’s not me,” he protested. “The car is just… enthusiastic.” top gear cockometer
Audi, particularly the A4 and the R8, began to dominate the Cockometer. Clarkson argued that because BMWs had become genuinely excellent driver's cars, they were now being bought by enthusiasts, whereas Audi was being bought by people who simply wanted to look important in the fast lane. Iconic Cockometer Cars James May leaned in, adjusting his spectacles
The was a satirical automotive evaluation tool introduced during the Jeremy Clarkson era of What does ‘C
The producer held up a printout. The AI had flagged James for the following: driving 4 mph under the limit in a national speed zone (passive aggression), using “sorry” hand gestures that were mathematically insincere, and—the killer—adjusting his sunglasses in a way that suggested he knew better than everyone else on the road.
🚀 Even though the original trio moved on to The Grand Tour , the Cockometer lives on in the vernacular of car enthusiasts worldwide. It represents a specific type of British automotive humor: the idea that your car is a public declaration of your personality flaws.
Massive grilles, unnecessary spoilers, and LED daytime running lights (which Audi pioneered) were instant Cockometer triggers.